Written by A Former Consultant

You’ve heard them, you’ve been taught them, and you’ve even said them yourself. Now that you are out of the Pink Fog, here’s a translation of some of the favorite scripts in Mary Kay… what you said then and what they sound like now that you realize the truth about Mary Kay Cosmetics!

THEN: Has anyone ever taken the time to pamper you with a Mary Kay facial?

NOW: Please please please tell me you haven’t tried Mary Kay so I can sucker you in to buying something! (And even better, so I can recruit you.)

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THEN: I know you are a busy person, but your Mary Kay facial will take only about 20 minutes. What would be better for you… later this week or early next week?

NOW: 20 minutes? LMAO! You are going to be nailed down for at least two hours–this week OR next week!

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THEN: I know you think it’s your glamour that looks great, but it’s actually the TimeWise that prepared your skin for the color. Think of it as painting a house. Before you apply a coat of paint, you must prepare the surface. You must clean it, sand off the old paint & and apply the primer first or the new paint will look messy and uneven. Your skin is the same way.

NOW: Listen, I’ve to make some money tonight, and that mascara won’t even pay for my gas. I’ll tell you a Miracle Set will cure the common cold if you promise to buy one!

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THEN: Now I want you to think about your favorite out to dinner dress. Add all the accessories… the jewelry, the shoes, the handbag. How much did you spend on that outfit? Over $100 I bet. How many times have you worn that outfit in the past year? Not much huh. Will you still be wearing it five years from now? Probably not. Well, wouldn’t you agree that it you deserve to invest that same amount of money on your face that you wear every day and that you will have for the rest of your life?

NOW: Oh good lord, I said that? Talk about dishing out a guilt trip. I probably nodded through the whole darn statement too.

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THEN: There are several different ways to pay for your purchase tonight. I take cash, check, Master Card, Visa & Discover. Or we can do a little creative financing to make sure you can take your items home tonight!

NOW: Oh, I’ll find a way to get your money one way or the other. Hell, I’ll take a post dated check for next year and a bag of recyclable soda cans if I have to!

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THEN: Now it’s my responsibility as your personal consultant to make sure everything you are taking with you this evening is the right color/right formula for you, so I need to set up your follow up facial. I’ll give you my datebook, and you write in a time & date that is best for you.

NOW: Hey, I gotta find a way to get more money out of you. Wait till I try to sucker you in to having your girlfriends come over and join you so they can buy stuff too!

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THEN: I noticed you really enjoyed your facial tonight. You are such a sharp woman and I think you would be great at doing what I do. Is there any reason why I couldn’t give you some information about the company? I’ll even give you a free lip gloss if you give me your opinion about what you read. What color would you choose?

NOW: Recruiting alert! Recruiting alert! RUN! RUN! DON’T DO IT!!!!

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THEN: I know you think a $100 starter kit is a lot of money, but wouldn’t you agree that there have been times that you have gone to a department store for one item and walked out with over $100 in your shopping basket? I’m sure that purchase didn’t change your life, but your starter kit will.

NOW: Yeah, we’ve all dropped a C-note at Wal-Mart, but at least we could walk away after that! And change your life? Oh yeah it will. You’ll never see your family, have an entire room of pink tubes you can’t sell, and give yourself a credit rating lower than the price of a gallon of milk in the first year.

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THEN: You really want to start your business with a full inventory. It’s a proven fact that women will spend more money if you’re able to deliver the product they want on the spot. When you see a pair of shoes at your favorite store, you don’t want pay for them then have to wait several days before you can wear them do you? So what level are we going to start at, diamond star or emerald star?

NOW: We all know we don’t make jack in commission unless we get you to buy a ton. So take out that loan, apply for that second credit card, or take out a second mortgage on the house. Frontload up sister! (And by the way, we all know that we will wait 2 weeks for delivery when we buy a pizza stone with a lifetime guarantee, so no customer is going to drop dead of dry skin if they have to wait 2 days.)

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THEN: I know how you feel, I felt the same way. But you know what I found?…..

NOW: …I found that I DO NOT miss this business one stinkin’ bit!!!!!