Struggling to Become a Director
A woman who did Mary Kay twice tells us about her struggle through car, DIQ, and directorship. Let it be known that this woman is not the exception, she is the rule. Lots and lots of constant work, putting your own money in to move up or maintain a level, and in the end it’s all for nothing. This happens far more often than they’re willing to admit.
For a long time I was warned about this site… as many other consultants I am sure. There was actually a segment with the directors at seminar talking about it. I was in Mary Kay twice. the first time as a 18 year old part time college student/full time employee at a hospital. My mom was also a consultant twice when I was younger. Helping her in her office with the products taught me to read.
My second time in Mary Kay i came back because I wanted my discount back. When I met with my new director she laid out the inventory talk and i decided to do an $1,800. Then I kept ordering because she said I needed more stuff even though I wasn’t selling anything.
In the beginning of my second time around, I was working two part time jobs and in school full time. I started for my products, and wanted more money because I was broke. It was hard for me when I started because I was very negative, and didn’t have many girl friends. I didn’t even wear makeup when I started!
I got my first team member, and at that time the company was having the promotion to go on target for the car with 3 active instead of 5. I found some people that started (1 of which was a friend and I begged for her help to get into red). We were on target for 2 months with half the production met, and the third month, I couldn’t get a single new recruit, or the $4,000 in production. I was very upset and couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t do it.
For the next year and a half i sold product and didn’t really recruit anyone. Then I “made the decision” and got fed up with my wanna be director not doing her job I decided to become a director so my team wouldn’t have to deal with her. I went into DIQ with family and friends on my team, and by the 3rd month couldn’t pull production so I charged half of it (yes over $2,000).
Every quarter the pressure was on to be a star, so I continued to charge it because my director would say just charge it! Then the company found out that an order was placed without someone’s knowledge (because my director told me to do it) and I was not allowed to re submit for 6 months. How is it I got disciplined when my director is the one that did it?
After that I was already on target for my car, and short 2 months by $2,000, so she said JUST CHARGE IT, and so I did. Earned my car, and was on suspension from re submitting at that point. (only the DIQ requirements state you cant put an order in for someone else, why doesn’t car qualification?). After 3 months, enough directors I knew had written into the company that they decided to let me re submit. This time we did over $34k in production (keep in mind I was doing everything! I did not talk to my director the entire 4 months I was in DIQ) and had a great unit of women working.
After completing DIQ I got my unit number on a Thursday and was in Dallas Monday for training. I came home so completely exhausted from 4 months of “short term sacrifice” as they like to call it, to a party of 12, and $1,200 in production for the month. Second month was Seminar, with $1,600 in production. Going from the four months of DIQ production of $4,300, $10,300, $7,100, and $12,000 this minimal production was a shock to me! By the third month My mother was in for surgery, and my grandmother in the hospital fighting for her life.
My family consumed my thoughts, as did school full time. we did yet again a short month, and the company called and said u have one last shot. The last month we did $3,200, significantly better than we had been doing, but my grandmother was still fighting for her life, I was playing the role of mom to my 2 younger siblings, and in school. I was exhausted!! After that month they said sorry you are no longer a director! I was OUTRAGED that the company was not willing to work with me! I had dedicated every ounce of my being to the company and when I switched to my family I got screwed! My unit all knew the issues with my family and were understanding and supportive. Now they are all mad because the company took away what we had worked for. If i was not dedicated to “the dream” why would I have been to new director training 1 week after finishing requirements?
As of now, I have learned a lot! I learned not to CHARGE IT because someone will get a better paycheck while I go into debt. I accrued over $30k in debt charging product, seminars, hotels etc for events. My boyfriend hated being around me because I was always stressed out and had MK on my mind, and the lack of money caused a huge rift between us. He was always supportive until the end, but now we are both glad that is over. I have attached a copy of a letter I sent to corporate…. no response from them… GO FIGURE!
Former Director and Car driver with MK
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OP, my heart hurts reading stories like this. And to think of the car you could now OWN had that $30K been spent differently. Your director was a leech, asking you to spend money you don’t have for her benefit.
Thank you for sharing…and I am so glad you got out!
I am so glad you are out!!! Did you send inventory back?
Thank you for sharing your story, and congratulations on getting your freedom and your life back! As Parsonsgreen mentioned, if you do have any inventory you can return, please do that so you at least get some of your money back. It will be extra sweet if you can nail your director with a chargeback in June 😀
Dear consultants and DIQs passing through:
There you go, this story is from one of you, not some bitter “lazy looser” who didn’t gve MK enough of a chance, or who didn’t work her business the right way. This woman listened to her director. She stretched production, she recruited. She wanted directorship and the car. She did everything right and it still didn’t work. On top of that, they shunned her when she wanted to focus on her family – isn’t family supposed to be ahead of career, in MK’s own words?
If you’re having the same kind of problems and wondering what you’re doing wrong – it’s not your fault. The MLM system is rigged against you from the start because it’s designed to benefit your upline at your expense. Your upline doesn’t care about you, only what you can put in their pockets.
And if you feel like you’re ready to get out, you’ll find all the support and advice you could ask for here at Pink Truth.
“I learned not to CHARGE IT because someone will get a better paycheck while I go into debt. I accrued over $30k in debt charging product, seminars, hotels etc for events.—
Good job for sharing her experience and getting out. It is terrible what the MLM con game does to people – and teaches them to do to others.
The below comments are for general awareness and perspective, not necessarily direct criticism. I will say, though, that I’m disappointed that she never mentioned that she felt bad or apologized for duping her own downline – at least not in this email. All I read were a lot of “I’s”…….and “we’s” meaning HER.
“We were on target for 2 months with half the production met”—
We??? Your team was going to benefit, or just you? Like your director benefitted from your $1800, and no doubt made that into a “we” to her team.
“Then I “made the decision” and got fed up with my wanna be director not doing her job I decided to become a director so my team wouldn’t have to deal with her. I went into DIQ with family and friends on my team, and by the 3rd month couldn’t pull production so I charged half of it (yes over $2,000).”—
And the other $2000 was from whom? Your downline’s credit cards?
“This time we did over $34k in production”—
There’s that “we” again. Was it for them, or YOU?
“(keep in mind I was doing everything! I did not talk to my director the entire 4 months I was in DIQ) and had a great unit of women working.”—
What were those “working women” doing? Recruiting people like your director did to you? Asking them to charge it? Were they charging it?
“I came home so completely exhausted from 4 months of “short term sacrifice” as they like to call it, to a party of 12, and $1,200 in production for the month. Second month was Seminar, with $1,600 in production. Going from the four months of DIQ production of $4,300, $10,300, $7,100, and $12,000 this minimal production was a shock to me!”—
Where did all that cumulative “production” come from? Your downline placing orders that they’ll never sell?
“The last month we did $3,200, significantly better than we had been doing,”—
We again? You mean “you”.
“keep in mind I was doing everything!”—
DOING WHAT?
“As of now, I have learned a lot! I learned not to CHARGE IT because someone will get a better paycheck while I go into debt.”—
How did you get to director status?
***********************
The article was written from a victim’s perspective, and she was indeed a victim. But, at the same time, she was a victimizer. She was a victimizer!!! This is the MLM con game; recognize it. Scam, be scammed, or be both simultaneously.
Food for thought: If this person was actually making a net profit, would she have quit? Or would she have continued “building her team” from downline production?
Being a “successful MLMer” is not okay. A person becomes successful by victimizing people like her own self. She landed in the 99% of players in the money game, a net-loser. Think of a raffle where everyone buys a ticket, and the winners’ prizes comes from the ticket buyers. Ticket buyers who all wanted to win too. Math will tell you people have to lose for others to win.
“Production” means raffle player’s money. It has nothing to do with outside money funding the prizes; it’s mostly the consultants’ money being divvied out. It’s a Zero-sum game. That 30k of debt paid upline commissions.
Give her a break … “I’m disappointed that she never mentioned that she felt bad or apologized for duping her own downline” … she’ll realize that she was trained and encouraged to do to others what was done to her. It will take time, but unless she’s a total sociopath it will come. Baby steps.
Recovering individuals seldom have epiphanies like Saul on the road to wherever, when the heavens open up, unicorns fart rainbows and cherubs sing and they see one grand unified field theory of how everyone screwed everyone else.
Just because someone’s recovery doesn’t fit your ideals, don’t throw stones.
No, and it’s not about her recovery fitting my ideals. I’d rather that people not have to enter recovery in the first place!
If we do not explain MLM thoroughly, from all perspectives, people might not understand it. She gave no indication that she recognized that she was scamming her own downline. I want people to see that. NTL and as stated, she was a victim too.
If every comment is like the first few, which I am in FULL SUPPORT of being written, she and others might not ever comprehend that she was also an abuser – and only read “victim”. I hope that future MLMers reading this can see it from the ADDED perspective. There are plenty other consolers here today to comfort her. Again, also good.
Yes, we want to show how directors don’t make the money they claim, or how they lose money; that’s one aspect. But aren’t we also about warning and educating future willing-victims from ever participating in this con game? If you want to accuse me of being the bad guy, fine. If someone recognizes what happened with her written story, i.e., that she was also a perpetrator who didn’t own it, or worse doesn’t even see it, so be it.
In MLM, even though you are being conned, which totally sucks, you are also conning others. MLM is not all about you; it affects both upline AND your downline.
It is not acceptable to willingly play the con game, not win, and then complain because you didn’t win and call foul. But if you do win, all is okay???!
I see this as a main problem with MLM and MLMers, and I’m calling it out. This is important: I’m calling it out because it’s not always that apparent. This is what makes MLM such a cleverly disguised scam. You use victims to victimize other victims.
We do have people who have walked away because they saw their own deceptions. Bravo. There is not a single sentence of remorse for OP’s actions upon others, only what was done to her. Or did I miss it? Keep in mind, she was a director so she knows she lied.
She might need baby steps, but I’m jumping ahead so others might not ever need any steps at all. Again, there are plenty other commenters to console her.
I am certainly compassionate to hear about her family troubles. But we should take notice that she was an active MLMer until she herself was severely inconvenienced judging by this quote, “I was OUTRAGED that the company was not willing to work with me!”.
It is definitely implied that had Mary Kay worked with her, she would have continued trying to scam others.
When people say “I charged it” or “finished it” that usually means they individually spent that money, not the whole downline. “Production” means money the director AND downline spent.
For what it’s worth, I don’t know that I can fully get behind calling all MLM recruiters scammers. I see where you’re coming from, though, & I can understand your point about the victim becomes the victimizer. But In my mind, there is a difference between MLM & other scammers. In MLM, there is a very small percentage of people who DO make money. To me it seems different than other scams such as the Nigerian price scams, where the scammer 100% knows they’re purposely swindling people.
Not everyone who recruits does so dishonestly, and there are some directors/consultants who don’t “pull inventory”. They truly want people to order only if they sell. (Those directors and consultants don’t last long.)
I’m not sure if intent matters or not when it comes to scams, but I think the intent of most MLM-ers is not to make money off the losses of others; they truly want their downlines to succeed. I think the bigger problem is the system.
Before you accuse me of being a scammer- I’m still anti-MLM, would love for the whole MLM thing to be illegal, but I’m not sure that I can get behind calling your average director who’s making less than minimum wage a scammer. The NSDs & corporate, absolutely, call them scammers. That’s just my opinion. We’ll probably never agree. And that’s fine. But I just wanted to chime in. No, I was never a SD. I never even recruited anyone. I tried to be honest & ethical in my short time in MK.
“No, and it’s not about her recovery fitting my ideals. I’d rather that people not have to enter recovery in the first place!
If we do not explain MLM thoroughly, from all perspectives, people might not understand it. She gave no indication that she recognized that she was scamming her own downline. I want people to see that. NTL and as stated, she was a victim too.”
So would all of us, and yes, it’s important to educate people on all damaging aspects of MLM including the fact that anyone who recruits is also a scammer.
But, just like the last time you took heat over this, it comes down to time and place. There is a time for warm fuzzies and a time for looking at the negatives MLM in the abstract.
This is the OP’s personal story about a time in her life that we know from others is extremely stressful and emotionally tumultuous. You can say all you want that oh yeah you’re really happy for her and you’re not attacking her personally, then you go right to attacking her and calling her a victimizer and scammer. That’s cruel.
We can’t know where she is in her recovery. Apologies are hard. What I can say is that it’s far more likely to hurt/scare her off along with others who might be reading along but don’t want to share their problems because they’re worried about being targeted for not doing Thing.
So this would mean would mean every former MK’r here who ever recruited is a scammer.
Alot of times people don’t realize it’s a big scam until they recruited their own family and friends on instruction from their up line.
I don’t think everyone who ever recruited someone is a scammer. I disagree with that.
They were often unaware they were participants in the scam. Call them collateral damage.
“So this would mean would mean every former MK’r here who ever recruited is a scammer.”—
They participated in a scam. A “scam participant”?
“I don’t think everyone who ever recruited someone is a scammer. I disagree with that.”—
I’d argue most MLMers (leaders excluded) are unwitting-scammers, but being unwitting doesn’t change the act itself. “Willing-victim” can also apply.
Here and imo, “scammer” is less about the person’s character and more about the act. I feel the act should be identified for what it is, this so people aren’t left oblivious and in denial about “their business”.
I’d hope that most people wouldn’t want to be referred to as a scammer, or even an active participant in a scam. If so, then don’t become a recruiting MLMer.
The company took your unit while your mom & grandma were very sick & needed you. That’s the good ol’ Mary Kay “Family second. Career third” values we all know.
Sick sick sick
They tell them to order more if they aren’t selling cause “they don’t have enough that’s why you are not selling”