A Man Tells Us How It’s Done
Apparently we just did it all wrong. There is a contract. We should have read it. His wife is successful. But he just wants to encourage us!
As a husband of a wonderful woman who was a Mary Kay consultant for over two decades, I saw a lot of water flow over the dam. There has been much about this business I do not like but on the other hand, it hasn’t been entirely bad.
Once my wife realized the power in the “independent” status of her business, she was able to make huge changes that allowed her to see profit rather than deficits.
What this amounted to was a simple decision to control her own business – not to be subservient to anyone else. After the costly areas of operating were identified as non essential, she made changes and cut out all non profitable activities. She concentrated only on activities that were cost effective. She eliminated the non productive and costly events and dedicated herself to personal monthly profit.
When she became truly independent of her area and began making sound business judgments, her profitability exceeded the average weekly wage for our State. This, of course, was the goal. Dollars finally found their way to our wallet instead of being constantly put back in her business.
From a man’s point of view, and after reading posts on your site, I have come to the conclusion that many Mar Kay consultants have lost sight of, or never quite knew, the power of the word “independent.” The very foundation of your status in Mary Kay is contained in that one word which is within the four corners of the Mary Kay agreement you must sign.
What really jumps off the pages of pain in Pink Truth is the fact that consultants feel they’ve been treated unfairly, with manipulation, and how DEPENDENT they were for the support they didn’t get. If indeed someone has done this to you, it is a sad and sorrowful thing. I know the motivation for keeping the truth of your contracted power away from you. Simply put, it is so they can exercise pain, humiliation, and hatred toward you if you cross them, and you’ll think it’s within their power. I urge you to take back your power of the “independent” status of your business.
In these next few lines I’d like to say being familiar with any contract language is paramount before you sign any contract no matter what! Forget the driving force behind the pressure of ”you’ve gotta do it NOW“ because that always benefits the one applying the pressure, not you! Independent is an easy word in this contract but generally not emphasized for the obvious reason some in your organization want to maintain the illusion of authority and control over you.
Since your first impression of your recruiter was probably when she was dressed in a costume that made her look like a generalismo of a third world country – adorned with glittering achievement badges, you probably, and wrongfully thought she was going to be your boss, or supervisor in the chain of command. Nothing could be further from the truth, and if anyone made you believe otherwise they’ve breached the contract between you and the corporation. Keep forever in your memory cells that no one stands between Mary Kay Corporation (the contractor) and you – (the independent subcontractor).
You are not dependent, nor are you subject to control by others not affiliated with the larger controlling unit – (the contractor) and that means everybody from the rank of recruiter to the very highest NSD. If these people are not actual paid employees of the contractor, you are not required, nor do you have to rely on anything, or anyone else in the contingent for their opinions or for guidance in your conduct. The others who hold large titles prefaced with the word “Independent”, have only one function – to inspire, encourage, and excite you about the company so you will buy product, and recruit others – just like they do.
The company wants you to maintain the highest levels of integrity, honesty, and responsibility towards the company, customers, and your peers, and to hold the company harmless for any damages or misrepresentations by the independent…
This is standard language found in any sub-contract – there’s about 20 general terms and conditions on the agreement which all consultants have a copy of.
Visit the
While it’s true that we were all told we were “independent”, the opposite was taught at every level and at every event. The very STRUCTURE of multi-level maintains a tight emotional hold over every member; I can’t get XXXXX unless you help by XXXXX. Further, when you are new and need to learn the business, the dependency is built in. No one would help or answer questions for the newbie if they presented the attitude you suggest. You want to be “Independent”? Go be independent. Then what happens when you don’t know how to book, do product demo’s, or interview a newbie? Your wife could break away AFTER she was trained…and yet I seriously doubt it did anything but reduce her expenses. A company that uses the production of recruits to reward and advance recruiters has MADE the interdependence a key priority.
You can’t earn a car by yourself in the MK structure.
Wow. Thanks for the mansplaining. I truly appreciate your condescending, oversized testicular fortitude and your bloviating.
MK is nowhere near the definition of independent. You are completely beholden to the company and its rules.
Now get off my lawn.
Dude, your Y chromosome is going to need a cold sitz bath and a truss once the commentators here get through this heap of meadow muffins. All you’re doing is blaming the victim, yet again, and yammering on about things you have no clue about.
::cracks knuckles:: Ok, I won the coin toss and deferred, so you get to receive in the first half.
“As a husband of a wonderful woman who was a Mary Kay consultant for over two decades, I saw a lot of water flow over the dam.”
So she’s no longer in MK. Why did she leave? Did she quit, and if so, why? Was she forced out? Did you make her quit? Again, why? If the answer in any way involves her revenue flow, including lack of production, be aware that it invalidates the rest of your post without me having to do a thing.
“When she became truly independent of her area and began making sound business judgments, her profitability exceeded the average weekly wage for our State. This, of course, was the goal. Dollars finally found their way to our wallet instead of being constantly put back in her business.”
No one in MLM is ever truly independent. You don’t own the business. You don’t own your client list. You can’t advertise or sell when and where you choose; you can only do so in ways proscribed by the company. You are not allowed to buy inventory from anyone other than the company. The company can terminate you at any time for any reason, and if it goes out of business you have nothing. A percentage of the cost of your inventory goes to your upline’s commission without you having any kind of say in the matter.
I don’t doubt there are plenty of incidental costs that can be cut out, but it’s not enough to offset the cost of doing business.
What state do you live in? I’m guessing it’s Denial. It’s been shown here time and again that Mary Kay consultants make peanuts because the products are impossible to sell for full retail. Tax returns or GTFO. We’re not going to believe you just because you’re a man, man.
“From a man’s point of view, and after reading posts on your site, I have come to the conclusion that many Mar Kay consultants have lost sight of, or never quite knew, the power of the word “independent.” The very foundation of your status in Mary Kay is contained in that one word which is within the four corners of the Mary Kay agreement you must sign.”
Translation: IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT because you don’t know what “independent” means. Again, no one in MLM is independent. You can’t sign up unless it’s under someone. You can’t purchase inventory without it benefitting someone above you. You can’t run your business to suit you.
“What really jumps off the pages of pain in Pink Truth is the fact that consultants feel they’ve been treated unfairly, with manipulation, and how DEPENDENT they were for the support they didn’t get. (snip) Simply put, it is so they can exercise pain, humiliation, and hatred toward you if you cross them, and you’ll think it’s within their power.”
Translation: IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT for thinking that someone who promised you the moon had your best interests in mind. IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT that you let their negative emotions influence you!!!
Oh, yeah, and they DO have the power to exercise pain, humiliation, and hatred towards you. It’s called bullying, and being a bully is a character trait that anyone can have. It doesn’t respect contracts, quibbling over semantics, or mansplaination. It’s damaging in painful and insidious ways and breaking free takes a hell of a lot of effort.
“In these next few lines I’d like to say being familiar with any contract language is paramount before you sign any contract no matter what! Forget the driving force behind the pressure of ”you’ve gotta do it NOW“ because that always benefits the one applying the pressure, not you! Independent is an easy word in this contract but generally not emphasized for the obvious reason some in your organization want to maintain the illusion of authority and control over you.”
Translation: IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT because gurlz don’t understand contracts.
Chucko, the woman who runs this site is a forensic accountant. There are also current and former business owners and highly skilled professionals with enough letters of accreditation to make up a new alphabet. Female != unable to understand contracts, even the complicated parts. “Read the whole damn contract before you sign and don’t let someone pressure you into signing right away” is part of the standard advice this site gives potential new recruits. Try reading the whole damn site before telling us what you think we don’t know.
Once again for the people in the back, no one in MLM is independent. The word “independent” is just window-dressing to bolster their image of the successful, soignee CEO they want you to think you will be. They rely on this appeal to emotion and try to get you caught up in the moment and sign without reading the contract, because they know no one will want to sign if they get the chance to really look at it.
“Since your first impression of your recruiter was probably when she was dressed in a costume that made her look like a generalismo of a third world country – adorned with glittering achievement badges, you probably, and wrongfully thought she was going to be your boss, or supervisor in the chain of command. Nothing could be further from the truth, and if anyone made you believe otherwise they’ve breached the contract between you and the corporation.”
Translation: IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT that you thought someone who’d be your superior… actually… like… IS your superior?
Because, for the umpteenth time, in MLM, you can’t sign up unless it’s under someone else.
Lemme ask you how your wife dressed while she was in MK. Did she go around in jeans and t-shirts, or did she put on the dog? Because the glitter and fanciness is another tool in the manipulation of others, to make them see it and want it. Some people lead with their hearts and are taken in. The fault is not theirs for being lied to; it’s the fault of the liar.
“Keep forever in your memory cells that no one stands between Mary Kay Corporation (the contractor) and you – (the independent subcontractor).”
Oh, for fu… fffff… fuh… football’s sake! NO ONE IN MLM IS INDEPENDENT!!! It’s a pyramid scheme. The whole point of a pyramid scheme is that it has levels, and there will always be levels above you unless you’re one of the less than half a percent who manages to claw their way to the top… and then guess what: they’re dependent on those below them for their commissions, their bonuses, their production. It’s Ouraboros all the way down.
Plus, there’s the small fact that it’s a 60-year-old cult of personality that worships a woman who makes Bernie Madoff look like a piker. Rebel and they’ll turn on you in a hot second. Contracts and rules are binding, except when they aren’t. Corporate doesn’t give a hoot about anyone as long as they don’t make the company look bad.
“The company wants you to maintain the highest levels of integrity, honesty, and responsibility towards the company, customers, and your peers, and to hold the company harmless for any damages or misrepresentations by the independent…”
Translation: IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, not the company’s.
Have you ever heard the saying, “don’t believe everything you read”? You probably have, but maybe a woman said it so it didn’t register.
The word “independent” is also a legal tush-protector for Mary Kay Corporate – it gives them a way to deny responsibility for bad behavior, lies and misrepresentations of their contract signers.
Oh my! That is horrible that she bullied you but she is an INDEPENDENT Beauty Consultant and we can’t discipline her for being a horrible person.
Yes, she committed identity fraud and placed orders under your name, but she is an INDEPENDENT Beauty Consultant and we can’t terminate her but you can file a police report.
Yes, she committed identity fraud and signed up your dead sister as an IBC, but she is an INDEPENDENT Beauty Consultant and we can’t terminate her but you can file a police report.
Whose social security numbers do they use for dead people? Esp if they sign up a consultant dead sister behind their back?
They can use the dead person’s SSN. They are easy to get.
Mary Kay doesn’t check with the recruits to make sure they are real people who willingly signed.
My dude you could not afford to pay me for the ball stomping you are owed for this hot trash of a post. My hourly rates start at 110/hr single session.
I can’t even imagine how you speak to your wife, and God forbid, any daughters who are unfortunate enough to have you as a dad.
The audacity of hunsbands is almost as infuriating as the huns themselves.
Hell, I’d kick in a couple hundred to get things started off.
Heck, I’d be tempted to do a ball stomping for free. #QueenofPetty
Ewwwww! Everything about this is so gross and condescending.
Amen! Plus I find this wording very suspect and gross:
“ Dollars finally found their way to our wallet”
…that’s a very convoluted way to say “we finally made profit”, so I doubt they ever did.
I agree. This is worded quite strangely. Very suspicious.
“What really jumps off the pages of pain in Pink Truth is the fact that consultants feel they’ve been treated unfairly, with manipulation, and how DEPENDENT they were for the support they didn’t get.”
What he fails to mention that even after these changes, his wife’s profitability remains “dependent” on the losses of the women under her.
“his wife’s profitability remains “dependent” on the losses of the women under her.” So you don’t think she was making “more than the average weekly wage” by selling full price to hundreds of customers? Me either.
This guy reminds me of the Kindness Club PTA moms on the playground. I don’t this went in the right spot.
“… that one word which is within the four corners of the MK agreement you must sign.”
I guess he never read the agreement.
— I understand that I may not sell or display Mary Kay® products in retail sales or service establishments.
— I am authorized to sell Mary Kay® products only in the United States, Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands and Guam.
— …by obtaining the Company’s written permission prior to my use in any advertising (including but not limited to the Internet) or literature other than Company-published material.
— I will not (directly or indirectly through any intermediary or instrumentality) offer for sale, or facilitate the offering of Mary Kay® products for sale through such establishments or websites (including, but not limited to, eBay and Amazon). I understand that the obligations in this paragraph survive the termination of this Agreement.
Exactly. My girlfriend owns a little shop. Because she is the sole propriess, she gets to decide how to advertise, store hours, marking down the merchandise, changing vendors, changing the logo, when to make major sale announcements, selling her wares thru other retail shops or online…
That’s what being an independent business owner is all about. Not being beholden to how you can sell in a contract.
😲😳😲 you must be new here
I’m not always convinced the “I’m the husband” emails are not the sales director but this one does reek of toxic mansplaining drivel.
At least this one doesn’t sound like it was written by a bot. Good job bro. You get a cookie.
“When she became truly independent of her area and began making sound business judgments, her profitability exceeded the average weekly wage for our State.”
OK, husband, prove it. Since we don’t know what state he’s in, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, and say it’s the lowest state – Mississippi – at $879 per week, which would be $45,708 per year. I hope he understands this amount is the taxable income after all of her expenses are paid. She would have to legitimately sell at least $100,000 at full price (no discounts or freebies) to net this amount. If she’s not selling that much, then she has to be recruiting to get commissions from her team. It would take a pretty big team to net that much taxable income. How does she do it while staying “independent” of her area?
I want to believe you, man! Come on! The numbers I’ve shown are just simple math, independent of any spin or opinion. How did she do it? I really want to know.
https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/pay-salary/average-salary-in-us#:~:text=While%20there%20are%20significant%20variations%20in%20pay%20relative,this%20represents%20a%20national%20annual%20salary%20of%20%2455%2C640.
This is great IF it’s true. But why should we just accept that without seeing some actual numbers (monthly expenses compared to monthly net income, over a sustained period of time)? It also wouldn’t hurt if you sent the site owner a copy of your Schedule C for the past few years. Without the numbers, your claims are meaningless.
Why is it that critics of the site never share their actual numbers? (Rhetorical question.)
I suspect that this wonderful woman got more careful about hiding her spending after hubby got all up in her business.
I wonder if she told him about the “husband unawareness program” that Mary Kay teaches their consultants? Yes, they coach them on how to hide their business spending from their spouses.
IF I assume any of this is true (which I strongly suspect it is not), it doesn’t change the fact: 1. that selling at a 50% mark-up is a TERRIBLE model for a retail business, and 2. the real money in MK (and any MLM) is made in recruiting and front-loading others. Assuming this is true, your wife would have been much better off (and more ethical) starting a different INDEPENDENT, non-MLM business.
This letter is just a very convoluted way to say “It’s your fault. You shouldn’t have allowed yourselves to be manipulated,” which we’ve heard here before. The tone is gross, but my money is on a female SD wrote it, pretending to be her husband.
Yes, blame the victim, not the conwoman and liar.
“on the other hand, it hasn’t been entirely bad.”
What a resounding endorsement!
I wish this man would realize that one is never independent (or a business owner) as an MLM rep.