NOs Happen in Mary Kay
Have you heard your Mary Kay upline say “No doesn’t mean no. It just means I need more information.”??? I always hated this concept in MK. No DOES mean no. It’s none of your business why, she said no. And while I understand that overcoming objections is part of the sales process in all industries, there comes a time when you accept the NO and move on.
Mary Kay would have you keep overcoming objections over and over. Because it’s not that she doesn’t want to be involved with MK in any way. It’s that she needs more information. “It takes about 10 nos to get to a yes.” Seriously. If I say no and you keep asking me, we are going to have a problem. Ten times???? Stop it, people.
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I ALWAYS despised this training. In sales, an objection is not a “no.” An objection IS usually a request for more information. 1-3 on this list is an objection. As a salesperson, my next question is, “I have an honest question for you, Janet. Are you asking me to help you solve the problem of not having enough time right now? Or are you saying you’re not interested in hosting?” And there’s your answer!
Also, yes, it does take about 10 no’s to get a yes. The key is, YOU’RE ASKING 11 DIFFERENT PEOPLE! If I tell you no once, I’m not going to be at all polite about it the 11th time you ask. And they wonder why people ghost them?!?
To quote the Rev Geraldine Grainger “the short answer is NO. The long answer is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”
Exactly. Anything you give the huns to argue with, they will. Keep it short and blunt.
This one extra-irritates me because it exploits how women are socialized to be nice and not hurt anyone’s fee-fees with bluntness. It’s always the woman’s job to manage the other person’s emotions, avoid conflict, and put their own needs last. And naturally, while being blunt/forthright/a straight shooter are qualities admired in men, women get labeled “bitchy” or “difficult” just for enforcing their boundaries.
So the target feels compelled to soften the rejection with one of the excuses in the chart and the huns will exploit it and persist at trying to get past your defenses as determinedly as my cats trying to get into the cupboard where I keep the treats. That’s why they get ghosted so often: it’s much easier to play along until you can escape, then avoid them at all costs. It avoids a confrontation.
I get it because I spent most of my life being the appeaser, the explainer, the diplomat, the doormat. I never learned how to deal with conflict growing up and I’d do anything to avoid it.
I don’t have a wise or pithy conclusion to this comment, so, um… SQUIRREL!!!
Another very import tool is disengagement. For example:
Hun: “Would you like to host a party and get a free gift?”
Target: “No thank you. I am not interesting in Mary Kay, so please take me off your list.”
Hun: “Can I ask why?”
Target: “No. And this is the last time I answer any of your questions about Mary Kay.”
Hun: “Did you have a bad experience with another consultant?”
Target:
Hun: “I’ll hit you up in a couple weeks then?”
Target: “I am happy to discuss other topics with you. But if you bring up Mary Kay, the conversation is over, understood? Please remove me permanently from your Mary Kay recruiting list.”
Hun: “But why? What did Mary Kay ever to do you?”
Target:
Their scripts depend on a response from the target. Without a response, they have no way forward. Never, ever, give them a reason. Just a simple “no” and a firm boundary. You do not owe them an answer to their questions, or a reason for your position. They are counting on you being cordial, even in the face of their obnoxious boundary-busting. They’ve forfeited their right to an answer, and you can feel good knowing you owe them nothing. No need to be mean. In fact, it is most potent if you are firm but matter-of-fact, and generally unmoved by their appeals. Without a specific response, the scripted dialog stops, and their “overcome objections” techniques are rendered useless.
Another tactic is to name the behavior and ask them to explain themselves. I learned to use it on customers in my current job who keep asking the same questions over and over trying to weasel out of paying penalties and late fees; it’s also recommended to help deal with boundary pushers and other jerks.
Hun: Would you like to come to a special pampering session? Bring a guest and I’ll give you a free gift!
Target: No, thanks, I’m not interested.
Hun: But it’s a free gift, with absolutely no obligation. Surely you deserve something special for the holidays!
Target: No. Thank you.
Hun: But I’m sure you’ve got a friend who’d love it, and you can get a head start on your gift shopping!
Target: I’ve told you twice that I am not interested, but you keep asking me. Why are you doing that? (then keep silent)
Hun: (defensive spluttering, growing embarrassment) …SQUIRREL!
Return awkward to sender.
“I’ve told you twice that I am not interested, but you keep asking me. Why are you doing that?”
Love this!
YES!!! “Never, ever, give them a reason. Just a simple “no” and a firm boundary. You do not owe them an answer to their questions”
You owe them NOTHING!
This is classic sexual exploiter language: “No doesn’t mean no. It just means you need to give them more booze.” Or grope their breasts a bit more … ignore the “no” and get what you want from this non-human.
I swear if any of these huns teach their sons that No doesn’t really mean No, then they should be charged as accomplices in any sexual assault.
Here’s a great reason to say “no” … I don’t want to.
To ignore anyone’s no is the ultimate in disrespect. You can’t package this as doing a service to women. It’s appalling that a consultant would harbor the believe that they somehow know what is best for another person especially in a realm as shallow as makeup and skin care. Despite the folly of trying to be a well-made-up MK consultant or girl in this framework of disempowerment, I’m a no-make-up woman and proud of it. Why I tried to be otherwise is still a bit of a mystery. If I questioned a belief (this extended to religious beliefs as well as if MK and religion was one and the same,) my director would smile and say “Well you’re wrong.” Then she’d change the topic and completely ignore what I said. No, I wasn’t wrong. Not for me. No, NO!! NO!!!!