Written by Frosty Rose

It’s here, a new year in Mary Kay. A clean slate. Time to set new goals. It’s the BEST time of the year!

Or, at least, that’s what they say.

The reality feels like this. You wake up on July 1 with a gnawing sensation of guilt, self-loathing, and maybe a little touch of panic. You stretched in June, you really did! You called all your customers, you “mentored” each of your consultants. You did daily promotions, offered discounts for customers who stocked up, dangled shiny baubles in front of your consultants to get them to order more.

So why weren’t you able to hit your goals? You did everything your national told you to do. But you fell short. Again. There must be something wrong with you. It’s clearly not the opportunity. I mean, all your friends on social media, all the top directors, hit their goals! And even if they didn’t, they’re celebrating their personal growth. So what’s wrong with you that you don’t feel like you grew last year?

Your customer list is stagnant. Your unit is going backward, it seems, with consultants slipping away faster than you can recruit. And those credit card balances? Yeah, that might be the only thing that grew last year.

But Seminar is right around the corner! Surely you can get re-energized there? If only you can find the funds… But you simply have to go! You’re the director! The speed of the leader is the speed of the gang! Ah, there’s that ATM in your office—your inventory! Get out there and hold some parties, girl!

But, wait… All your customers are already stocked up on their needs until at least September—they bought everything at a discount in June. Your contact list is bare because of June’s “stretch” work. And when you go out to warm chatter, it seems like everyone has a consultant already, or they’re so annoyed by last month’s MK enthusiasm that they shut you down before you even have a chance to ask for their number. Well, put it on the credit card. It’s a tax write-off, after all. And all you need is that one tidbit that you’ll gain at Seminar to turn the whole thing around!

So you head off to Dallas to sit at the feet of the nationals and top directors. They’ve all been where you are, walked in your too-high heels on sore feet. Surely they have the secret that will help you measure up. With this insight, next year you definitely won’t be sitting in the nose-bleed section with the other losers! No! Next year, you’ll be teaching a class all about the pivot that changed your entire business.

But you don’t get any new information. You get more of the same. No “meat and potatoes” that you don’t already know, nothing you’re not already doing.

Okay, that’s a good thing! You’ve got the activity down pat, so there must be something about you that you need to fix. And you’re the only one who can change you! Maybe you’re just not thinking big enough! You’re not being positive enough! You’re letting your failures drag you down, focusing too much on the consultants that haven’t caught the vision. So you set a whole new goal, and this one is non-negotiable! There’s no way you’ll allow yourself to fail.

You come home from Dallas, tired but excited, and share your new vision with your husband and family. Wait, did he just roll his eyes at me?? Ugh, he’s such a negative nelly—I can’t tell him anything! I know, we’ve been through the same cycle for ten years in a row, but this year is different! This year is my year! I’ll just have to prove him wrong.
But this year isn’t different. It’s exactly the same as it was last year, and the year before that. Credit card balances grow, your self-confidence continues to slip, and your family is just sad for you.

Know this, my friend. You are not the problem. You are just fine. But the system you are playing in is designed to keep you exactly where you are—spinning your wheels, hoping for more, and never quite measuring up.

If they can convince you that you’re the only one feeling this way, that it’s just some negative mentality that you can pray your way out of, you won’t look deeper to find the real problem. They convince you to only say the positive things and to ignore the negative, so you don’t know your MK girlfriends are dealing with the same issues you are.

You’re told not to read information outside what the company publishes, so you remain unaware that the business model itself is imploding. Your training from the very beginning has been to shut your family off from the flow of “negative” (read: realistic) information about your business, so they just see all the hours you invest in your dream that doesn’t pay the bills, and that starves them of your love and attention.

Take the opportunity of a new year to step back, slow down, and assess your life. Are you where you want to be? Do you have joy? Do you have rich relationships with non-MK friends and family?

Get in touch with what you want, not what your senior or national tells you that you should want.

You are worth more than the constant self-deprecating cycle in which you are trapped. You are worth an opportunity that does not require you to live in constant comparison with those who are doing it “better” than you. A life of excellence is not incompatible with a life of contentment, and you deserve contentment without the taint of guilt for what you didn’t accomplish.