Religious Manipulation in Mary Kay
Written by Anonymous
Mary Kay consultants are vulnerable. They are told to follow the direction of their sales directors and sales directors. Those in leadership have an opportunity to manipulate these women, especially when it comes to religion and spirituality.
We’ve all seen them: brand new, giddy, starry-eyed Mary Kay consultants. They are full of hope, expectation, awe, and a little bit of fear at their first unit meeting or first big Mary Kay Cosmetics event. They are like sponges, ready and willing to absorb everything they hear.
And of course, they are told from day one to do everything their director tells them to do.
Because of this vulnerability, I believe the new consultant elevates her director to an unhealthy level, and most times, the director is happy to become whatever that consultant thinks she is… pastor, preacher, teacher, mother, grandmother, best friend, business partner, or even…..should I say it? GOD.
There are some women who come into Mary Kay with their spiritual identity firmly intact, and nothing their director or national says would influence their beliefs anyway. These women, unfortunately, are the minority.
The vast majority of women who join MK need something more, and most often it’s a spiritual filling that they’re longing for. It all starts at the interview. “God first, Family second, and Career third. Isn’t it great that Mary Kay allows us to keep our priorities in order while making money?” First seed planted. Now the watering begins…
The prayers at the unit meetings. The prayers for production. Even prayers TO Mary Kay Ash the woman. Then the countless I-stories from women who were homeless, bankrupt, in jail, or on drugs, who turned to Mary Kay and found God!
Don’t get me wrong here. It is entirely possible that God has used Mary Kay to bring many women to Him. I firmly believe that God will use WHATEVER necessary to bring us to a closer relationship with Him. He will use anybody, any situation, or any company to get our attention.
God is no respecter of persons, so I don’t imagine He’s any respecter of MLMs either. Have you ever heard a National or a top director declare “This is an anointed company.” or “God has His hand on this company.” or “When I get to heaven I know Mary Kay will be there waiting for me.”?
Sick stuff. It’s not Mary Kay the company that is “anointed” or “special” or “holy”. It is the GOD of the universe that may have used certain people in this company for His glory. Period.
You know, for me, it really boils down to the separation of church and state. I don’t want government interfering in my personal religious freedom in any way, shape or form. My spirituality is mine alone, and although this country was founded on Christian values and principles, I reserve my right to believe whatever I want. If I want to believe that my favorite house plant is my God, then so be it. (I’m a Christian, by the way, so don’t anyone start praying for me.)
Although Mary Kay is a private company and therefore not subject to the separation of church and state per se, I believe they have a responsibility to stop manipulating its sales force with religion. Case in point: Stacy James. I think Stacy is smart, attractive, and obviously very successful in her Mary Kay business. I have nothing against her personally.
What I resent, however, is her narcissistic assumption that every woman in Mary Kay actually wants to listen to her go on and on and on about her spiritual beliefs, her church, and her pastor and his wife. And she can’t help but gush about this story.
And I must confess; at the time I heard the story, I ate it up! I got the warm fuzzies and goosebumps as she owned the stage at seminar when I heard this story the first time. (She really is a dynamic speaker.) But looking back, I realize that I had no choice! I had spent over $1000 to attend seminar to get training so that I might further advance myself up the career path.
But, no. I heard more spiritual nonsense during my 4 days in Dallas than I did any type of real training. However, I did come home very well indoctrinated in the Gospel according to Pastor Stacy James! (Kind of like “But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!) Stacy’s “name it and claim it” rendition of the gospel coupled with her newfound passion for “The Secret” movie can be an intoxicating mix for many spiritually vulnerable consultants.
Stacy is entitled to believe what she wants. But when she passes it on and holds it up as necessary for moving up in Mary Kay, I call this spiritual abuse. She, among others, are taking scripture and God, and twisting them to elicit more loyalty from their sales force. I don’t think Stacy has an intentional, malicious plan in place to do this. I just think that she, like many other nsds, became too powerful, too influential, and too important in Mary Kay. I believe that these nationals actually believe that they have been “called” to share the Good News. And maybe a few of them have. But it’s when they take scripture, and twist it to meet THEIR needs, that it becomes dangerous and disgusting.
But Stacy is not the only one. She just happens to be one of the most obvious. This spiritual “mentorship” happens at all levels every single day in the Mary Kay world. We’ve all seen it, been a part of it, or even doled it out a few times ourselves.
As a director, I never intentionally manipulated my unit to order or to recruit, but peppering my “training” with intimations of God and scripture were probably manipulation enough! But I was just doing as I had been taught. It starts at the top and trickles down.
And Corporate sits back and smiles, doing nothing to stop it. Why should they? There’s no better way to get women to order than to use God! It’s all about their bottom line. Cha-ching! Until women stand up and say “No thanks” to the latest and greatest spiritual “wisdom” from the top, this will continue. Find a healthy, well-balanced church to attend instead of leaving your spiritual growth in the hands of a Mary Kay national sales director.
Posted in the directors group just this morning.
https://i.imgur.com/DmZEXYz.jpg
When I clicked that, the top recommended link was “Oh, f*** off!” 😀 Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Think they missed the part where you are not supposed to worship idols.
Well, except the idol himself issuing the command to not to worship other idols. Can we all take a moment to think about this cult control tactic? Very clever manipulation.
My SD (now NSD emeritus) was Jewish and so religion wasn’t pushed. However, this was back in the 90’s and pre-social media, and so perhaps it wasn’t as prevalent as it is today.
I can speak though to my own ‘ick’ about mixing my “business” with church. My husband was the senior pastor when I started Mary Kay. While I did have some who did a party for me, I didn’t feel right mixing the two. Imagine the negative feelings some would have toward me if I had wanted to recruit and they lost money (as 99% of people do). I didn’t want to take that chance.
Imagine my frustration when my SD recruited one of our members for me because I took her to an event. This was before I understood that events were recruiting opportunities in disguise. I was naive. I didn’t want her recruited because she was my customer!! This woman didn’t wear makeup, had no social life outside of church, and I hate to sound judgy but she didn’t have the personality to attract customers. Plus…she did parties with all of her friends at church. Maybe she saved me. Since she now had the corner of sales at our church, I didn’t have that worry.
We have a number of people in our current church who are in mlms. My husband created a policy for our activity center/social hall that no one from church (or outside of our church) can use the facilities for business purposes. It’s strictly used for church events, ministries, and social occasions such as baby or wedding showers, birthday parties, etc.
That’s a great policy.
The number of stories I’ve either seen on anti-MLM YouTubers or on the sub-reddit where women in positions of power in a church have used their position to sell, recruit or simply freeze out doubters is amazing.
I too had a director ( now ENSD Emeritus) back in the 90’s. Pre-internet, pre-cell phones, you know, back in dark ages. Her favorite line and she said it often- when you take God as your business partner, and work hard, then success will follow.
Or what’s more commonly done in this side of the world is asking God fervently to open the path of weatlh (customers who would become consultants) very widely. So, in short, we are using God for our own selfish demands, at the expense of others.
1. They forget that wealth and all materialistic attainments are the idols mentioned in scriptures while asking God to give them those very idols. Huge disconnect.
2. The sin of misleading people and taking advantage of people desperate for survival.
My former director’s favorite line was “ take God as your business partner “ The whole idea of praying for production, or recruits is pretty sickening. I can think of so many more meaningful things and people to pray for.