It’s Not About the Prizes
Written by PinkPeace
In the wonderful world of Mary Kay, we certainly see our share of crazy prizes in offered in different units. There’s ugly jewelry, the oh-so-special opportunity to have coffee with a director, or the ride she could give you in her pink Cadillac. You might even get the opportunity for a sleepover with a director – just make sure you take your own sleeping bag! It makes you shake your head and think, “What the . . . ??”
But, what you have to remember with all the goofy contests and prizes in Mary Kay, is that the prize itself isn’t the point. It’s the recognition.
These consultants may or may not actually want the physical prizes or to spend time with the director. What’s really important is that their names will be in the unit newsletter, the director will single them out in her Facebook posts, and other unit members will look to them as being special. They’ll feel important – and they’ll want to feel that way again.
Mary Kay has an extremely powerful system of recognition that shamelessly preys on a woman’s desire to be recognized and celebrated. It doesn’t matter what the prize is. Mary Kay herself talked about the importance of “dollar recognition for a 10-cent ribbon.” With the proper presentation, those seemingly insignificant little ribbons can be treasured by consultants for years. “I am so excited for Lauren! She had her first $100 day, and we are so proud of what she has accomplished!! We all want to know how you did it, Lauren. Come up to the front and get your ribbon and tell us all about your success.”
If Lauren doesn’t get much individual recognition at home or at her regular job, this is like giving water to someone in the desert dying of thirst. She craves this appreciation, and will work to keep getting it. The ribbon itself is just a strip of cloth, but it symbolizes someone noticing her and giving her praise for her efforts.
We can elevate this to the Star Consultant program. Those of us who say, “Oh for Pete’s sake! I can’t believe a consultant would spend $1800 for a decorative bowl that I could get from Amazon for $15!” But that’s not the point – it’s what that bowl signifies. Mary Kay glorifies Star Consultants in every Applause Magazine and at every corporate event. Directors are specifically taught to spend a lot of time pumping up the Star consultant program at every unit meeting, in every newsletter/online post, and even to plan special parties for Star Consultants only. The emphasis is always on the recognition, not the prize.
Over and over, we singled out Star Consultants for their ladders of success that showed how many quarters they had been Stars. “At every Mary Kay function, everyone will know that you’ve been working your business when they look at your ladder. It’s like a report card that you wear – and you’re showing the world that you earned an A!” It was always about being recognized, not getting the item from the Star Consultant catalog. When the quarter ended and the consultants made their stars, we directors went crazy honoring them, and they all wanted MORE.
The pinnacle of recognition was going across stage at Career Conference, Leadership or Seminar. Lights, music, thousands of women cheering and applauding for me? Yes, please! I had walked across the Seminar stage many times during my Mary Kay career, and there is nothing like it.
I remember once having a simply terrible year as a director, and I qualified for NOTHING that would have let me walk across the Seminar stage. I was so depressed . . . and then MK issued a 20/20 challenge for June! Anyone who held 20 qualified classes in June would get a name badge ribbon, a special 20/20 pin and get to walk across stage. I threw myself into this challenge and booked, coached and held 20 classes, something I had sworn in the past I would never do. (To this day, I don’t know how I pulled it off). I marched triumphantly across that Seminar stage and received the crappy little pin which I wore with pride. It wasn’t getting the pin – it was letting everyone know that I did a 20/20.
I am convinced that Mary Kay could offer dog poop as a prize for some accomplishment, and there would be thousands of women who would be working to get it. Can you imagine the contest? “Be the first in our unit to scoop the poop and show everyone in Mary Kay that you’re feeling the excre-citement!”
No, it’s all about the recognition, and Mary Kay knows it.
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Wow. This explains why logic and reason are ineffective in battling the finely tuned emotional manipulation from the MK “machine”. My guess is even an accurate ledger showing how much she’s losing can’t counter a consultant’s craving for such contrived recognition.
This was very insightful PinkPeace!
Pay attention husbands of MK consultants. Her participation in Mary Kay should be telling you something. Make sure she’s getting the recognition she craves! If she’ll do all of this for Mary Kay recognition, just think how much you will get in return for genuinely appreciating your wife and all she does!
Hannah Alsonzo did a review YouTube video looking at Monations 2024. One of the market partners was showing her access badge with all the ribbons she had won. It started at her waist and ended just above her ankles. As an outsider it looked ridiculous but to all the GirlBosses, it was a symbol of greatness.
Oh, yes, I know all about the Adventures of Low Self Esteem and the Trinkets of Worth. Sources: my perfectionist mother, being the youngest of six so being compared to my siblings by way too many teachers and found wanting, being a shy and nerdy child and thus a total bully magnet, my mother, and my mother. When all you hear is “that’s nt good enough”, when someone gives you anything that means “you’re finally good enough!” it’s a bigger treasure than all the gold in Fort Knox. There were other random things that I attributed good qualities to just because I needed Something.
It didn’t matter if it was a wrapper from a candy a classmate gave me, a complimentary note from a teacher on a homework assignment, or other random stuff. It was precious and I hung on to it, and any attempt to make me see it as worthless, pointless junk was a personal attack on me, because these foolish things embodied my worth as a person. My mother’s favorite way to punish me was to clean my room at me, and I’d dig through garbage bags to retrieve them. She finally stopped at some point in high school, then instead just made snide comments about the mess.
Fast forward through too many decades, the death of Mommy Dearest, and a lot of therapy. I’ve been able to part with almost all of the things, and it hasn’t even hurt. Occasionally I’ll run across something in a forgotten cranny and get hit with a wave of nostalgia and rage, but it passes, because now I know the problem was not me for being worthless, but with the people who told me I was.
This article has really given me a new perspective on the trinkets. I get the intent behind revealing the cheapness of the gifts – “wake up, people! You’re spending yourself broke for a dollar store prize!” in an attempt to show people the absurdity of it all. Thing is, unless something happens in the consultant’s mind to make her wonder, IS the self-worth in the cheap bracelet, or is it in her? Until then, she’ll be as willing to part with that tiny pin or cheap ribbon as I was my paper plate with the bunny on it.
I actually hated getting up in front of people for recognition. I thought it was cheesy and embarrassing. Recognition was not a motivator for me. I was in Mary Kay to make extra money and not have to send my kids to daycare. But I knew women who thrived on that stuff. It was actually sad to watch women walking around with numerous pins and ribbons on their jackets. To me it cheapened their professional look. I still to this day question how I stayed in so long. I must have been temporarily insane.
The summer of 2022 I attended my last Seminar. I had “earned” the Princess Court of Sales for “selling” $20,000 retail of product (really, I had just purchased $10,000, and had most of it on my shelves, and eventually would put a lot in the dumpster). That summer we “earned” the right to walk across stage for Princess Court. I refused to do it. My director and fellow unit members were horrified that I would decline the recognition. It felt shameful. I knew that product was purchased with credit cards and I hadn’t actually sold most of it. They assured me I had earned the right, and I should go walk! I refused. It was an important moment in my personal journey of leaving Mary Kay. I joined MK in May 2003, so I logged a lot of years and mental manipulation.
Great article, PinkPeace. I hear the resounding echoes in other replies to the OP.