If It’s To Be, It’s Up To Me
Written by Raisinberry
We’ve heard stories before of Mary Kay sales directors being with the company for 20 or 25 years. They try to build to NSD, but never get there. They are left without any retirement plan, and most likely, no retirement savings of their own. Even the younger superstars who try to get to NSD in 10 years. When they fail, they are left far behind their peers in terms of career development.
These stores hit me hard. Especially the older women. They have given so much time and effort to Mary Kay’s growth but will find themselves out in the cold come retirement age.
Just as important though, is the idea that after 20 or 25 years with Mary Kay, they have built nothing of substance.
The director awakens after all these years to discover there is no foundation to her empire, no security, and no resources. She hadn’t made enough to put a nest egg away. She may have even borrowed from her nest egg to “stretch” for the next goal.
Pink Truth has done commission comparisons for Cadillac and Premier Club Directors. There it is, out there for all to see, the truth that no one wants any consultants to see. After telling your consultants and guests your “highest Mary Kay Check” (to create the illusion that you consistently earned that amount ), how can you go back and reveal the reality? All throughout this business there is the projection of success, while underneath the surface, there is the reality of failure.
As we struggle and work and plan and prepare… follow up and follow through, no matter how great you are at sales, booking, recruiting, there is a variable that you have no control over. Other people.
“If it’s to be it’s up to me” is one of the greatest cons this company presents to us, because without a doubt, from day one to the day of awakening, you are feverishly building something that other people can destroy.
At this stage of the game, nothing you have done for yourself or this company will be foundational. There are no building blocks in place, no security exists. You have to outrun a myriad of destroyers and chase the “dream” tirelessly or you will be swallowed by various types of attrition. That’s why “fast is best”. But even arriving at NSD isn’t the end of the rainbow. You have to hold your area together or watch your average commission retirement dwindle.
Can you even imagine the terror that some NSDs are experiencing right now, as they see their income plummeting?
The push is on to get new “offsprings” to replace those whose resources (mind, spirit, and bank account) have been exhausted. In case you are one of those readers who thinks we all really could have done more, and you believe in “if it is to be it’s up to me”, ask yourself the following questions:
- Is it up to you if your class didn’t hold?
- Is it up to you if your hostess has an allergic reaction?
- Is it up to you if your guest isn’t home when you go to pick her up?
- Is it up to you when 5 other MK consultants book the same craft fair?
- Is it up to you when your recruit turns out to have bad credit?
- Is it up to you if your team doesn’t order enough to stay on target?
- Is it up to you if you unit members fail to get guests?
- Is it up to you if her husband refuses the product delivery?
- Is it up to you if your warm chatters gave you the wrong phone number?
- Is it up to you if your unit member returns merchandise for repurchase?
- Is it up to you when you get bogus entries in your free facial contest?
- Is it up to you to attend Leadership, Seminar, retreats and “advances” to curtail debt or will you pay a social price for thinking independently?
Sure we all have the scripts and training to attempt to minimize these obstacles, but the facts are there are variables to success because we are always working with other people. The MK line is of course, just do more!
If 30 of us all try to book appointments tonight will all of us get the same results? If we all hold 8 interviews this week, will we all have 2 recruits?
The answer is no. And it wouldn’t really make any difference in the long run, because the reality is that as many as are signed, are as many as leave, and the churning of consultants is an endless stream. You will always find yourself back at an earlier point in your career as the bottom falls out beneath you, once again.
Directors move women up the career path, only to have them resign and return back into the unit, or leave altogether. The unit swells and then recedes. “If it is to be, its up to me” is a hollow chant when your positioning for NSD crumbles away from you in exhausted, broke, and in debt offspring.
This chant is designed to make sure you never consider that maybe Mary Kay Inc. and your upline are the only ones who thrive off this pyramid.
If you think it’s up to you, you will never realize how much of a “no-win” that really is. You are the one who must chase the wind without any security from Mary Kay as to whether your contribution to their growth will be rewarded. Do not underestimate the power of these words. These are the words that kept you in, repeating stupid behavior because you believed that you alone had to “make it happen” when all the while you were at the mercy of a pyramid sales ploy.
It became humiliating to depend on others… begging for guests, sales and interviews and recruits, and we all ended up doing what any self respecting woman would do. If it is to be, it’s up to me… became the rationalization for “buying” whatever goal was critical at the time… with your own resources! Isn’t that the Mary Kay way?! And that decision was always rewarded. You got your applause and no one ever asked for the details. You “found a way.”
Please think about this. Because you have to see how outnumbered you are. You are at the mercy of hostesses, guests, and customers, who will disappoint, while you are at the same time being groomed to believe you are the one who “makes it happen”.
Above you is a woman who has encouraged every manner of activity she needs, from you, to get what she wants. Below you are customers, who being freely able to decline your requests, can leave you squished in the middle between disappointing your upline or disappointing yourself.
Sadly, we have lost much of our “deserve level” simply by associating with Mary Kay. How can we “deserve” success when we doubt our own integrity. And what’s worse, when we see someone in our own unit respond in like manner, we recognize that she is our next “offspring.” She has the “constitution” to buy in to the whole Mary Kay system of manipulation and financial abuse… and like it.
No matter if you have 1 year in or 25, you are in a system that wishes to extract wholesale dollars from any cash on hand availability you have, and convince you that everyone above you is so happy and successful, you would be foolish not to embrace it.
As veteran Executive Senior Directors will attest, the end of the rainbow produces broken dreams and silent knowing that all the “working your business” in the world will not “make it be.” If you are ethical, you will lose. If you are cutthroat, you may win, if you are a good actress and only to find yourself in an endless churning of activity that will never build a thing of substance… because the bottom, like the heart of this company, is rotting away.
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Directorship brings to mind the Roadrunner cartoons with Wile E Coyote suspended in midair or about to be squashed by a giant boulder. He hangs there for a few seconds making the 🥺 face and holding up a sign that says YIPE or a tiny umbrella, but then gravity catches up and SPLAT!!!
Cartoon after cartoon, he keeps chasing the Roadrunner and never even comes close to catching him. He gets squashed, flattened, blown up, burned, and otherwise mangled, yet he won’t give up because if a Roadrunner dinner is to be, it’s up to he!!!
Somehow, it never occurs to Wile E to go hunt something else or, heck, it’s a cartoon – treat himself to a meal at a black tie restaurant on Jupiter where Bugs Bunny is the waiter. His monomania is causing him nothing but pain and a lot of money squandered on Acme products that always fail.
Is it the sunk cost fallacy at work? Is he afraid the other coyotes will shun him if he decides screw it, he’s calling for pizza? His own ego won’t let him admit defeat?
Obviously cartoons aren’t real life and Wile E is the way he is because that’s what his creators decided he’d be, but real people can and should take a long look at their inner coyotes.
Cleta Colson Eyre
Cindy Machado
Rachael Marlowe Bullock
Chatney Gelfius
Audrey Doller
Shari Huls Schlapman
Ellen Bowman Cox
September James
Taylor McKnight
Megan Coleman
Chelsea Adkins
Month after month – trying to get more new consultants, and therefore more directors on the quest to NSD. However, keep missing production and you’ll be dropped without any hesitation.
Even daughters of NSDs are stuck.
Krystal Hunsucker, amber Towne, Kali Brigham,
I am not seeing them get any closer. The numbers are plummeting. What will their retirement years look like?
The other aspect that should be discussed is the divorces that happen. The husbands who bail out and get to keep their 401k.
Add Diane Covington to the list of almost-but-still-not NSDs. I watch her videos. She’s a real go-getter…a smart woman with a master’s in marketing. It’s a shame she wasted her time and talents in Mary Kay.
And there are several NSDs about to retire…frantically watching their commissions dwindle.
“Sore like never before in 2024.”
Heather Daniel Kent
People lurking should read that slowly and then again. Nothing accusatory. Just the way it is and anyone being honest with themselves knows it.
This slogan is ridiculous, childish, and unrealistic. People have no more control over other people than they do the weather. A person can do a lot of the activity that is recommended in MK, which often involve spending a lot of money and time, or are unethical (such as lying), but it still doesn’t guarantee desired results because of all the odds stacked against the consultant. Then again, if she orders, gives the money to MK Inc., then blames herself when she fails (because it was up to her), then decides to try again harder next time, the higher ups make money and that is what they care about. That type of system also makes it feel very shameful to fail, like it was a personal failure and not the system.
It is also not up to the consultant if:
*the MLM system is set up to fail and that most of the inventory ends up with consultants and not actual customers
*people are onto the fact that it is nearly impossible to make money in MLMs and want no part of it
*people already have make-up they like and just aren’t interested in MK (or have a MK lady already)
*people don’t want to over pay for make-up or go to an icky sales party (or buy your overpriced stuff online)
*people don’t want to lure their friends to their house (and all the prep involved with hosting) to hear a sales pitch to buy overpriced make-up or join MK so they can receive a few trinkets
*the economy is bad and people are cutting back on their spending
*there are many rules from MK about how you can advertise/run your business
*they have to spend a high price ‘wholesale’ to get the inventory plus shipping that may or may not sell and often becomes obsolete
I agree that the women who fail should have a higher ‘deserve level’. They should realize they deserve to not be manipulated into putting effort and money in a system designed to fail. They should realize they deserve not to treated like bubbleheads and told a dream, a few platitudes (‘deserve level’, bee-lieve, it its to be its up to me, etc), and a lot of inventory are what’s needed for success.
I realize more each day how much this “business” contributed to my anxiety. Phrases like this one put unnecessary pressure on myself. Then, when I would acknowledge that perhaps this phrase wasn’t true, the little Guilt Monster would show up and remind me that I was being a negative thinker and Indeed, If it was the Be, it was Up To Me so I better just figure it out. Make another call, place another order, book another Inner-View, Sell something, find a hostess. It Was Up To Me!
Repeat cycle x 1,000,000 x any number of phrases like this one.
How many other people out there are tortured by the same thought process?
Please, if you stumbled across this “negative” website, Pink Truth, kick off your stilettos and stay awhile. You might be surprised what you learn when you allow yourself to expand your thinking beyond the Pink Bubble.
You stand a chance in MK if you’re young, pretty, in college, and have family money. Even better if your mom is your upline who is pushing you with all her might. Surround yourself with young women just like yourself and you can move up to SD and a car pretty quickly.
Even so, there’s no guarantee of long-term sustainability. Your college girlfriends will grow up, get married, and move on.
I am so glad 🙂 I quit MK. I have a sizable nest egg due to my J.O.B. My financial advisor says that we can continue to live in our current lifestyle when we retire in a few years. If you are new here k ow this…The money spent on products (you know, the full store) is money that could be earning you compound interest. What if you invested $625, or whatever the minimum required amount is to be active, in a 401k or at least a CD at 4.5%? Over time you’d be set too for retirement.
Here’s what a director probably convinces her downline to tell themselves. If anyone reads this, NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE TRUE OR YOUR FAULT! They are all lies you’ve been convinced are the truth.
Is it up to you if your class didn’t hold?
I should’ve tried harder with the host.
Is it up to you if your hostess has an allergic reaction?
It’s my fault I had a defective product; Mary Kay is (I was told) hypoallergenic.
Is it up to you if your guest isn’t home when you go to pick her up?
I should’ve made her feel it was more important to be there for this.
Is it up to you when 5 other MK consultants book the same craft fair?
I trusted that they wouldn’t do that, and it’s my fault I didn’t double check if there were other consultants there.
Is it up to you when your recruit turns out to have bad credit?
It’s my fault I didn’t help her find more money to borrow.
Is it up to you if your team doesn’t order enough to stay on target?
I should’ve motivated them more to be a team player. When I succeed, they will equally succeed.
(Never mind the fact that the car and prizes and commission checks aren’t shared.)
Is it up to you if you unit members fail to get guests?
I should’ve convinced them better of how the more guests, the more chances to join this wonderful opportunity.
Is it up to you if her husband refuses the product delivery?
I should’ve told him it’s important that product is delivered, because it means we’re about to be earning executive income, and it’s an ATM in my basement.
Is it up to you if your warm chatters gave you the wrong phone number?
I should’ve told them better about the opportunity, so they’d be committed.
Is it up to you if your unit member returns merchandise for repurchase?
I should’ve told them how important it is not to close that door.
Is it up to you when you get bogus entries in your free facial contest?
They should know I’m a hard-working woman, and they’re trolling me. They have know idea how much I put into building my business.
(What? Impossible. It’s a couple hours a week of passive income… right?)
Is it up to you to attend Leadership, Seminar, retreats and “advances” to curtail debt or will you pay a social price for thinking independently?
Of course it’s up to me to attend these amazing get-togethers and build my business.
(If you quit, and stop the money pit, you’ll be amazed how much spending money is suddenly available, and how much time you have.)
Is it up to you if the company changes packaging, colors, and formulas constantly?
It’s bad enough you can’t control market variables, but when the Company changed the product line 3 times in two years, I realized it was always going to be a losing battle to be profitable with sales alone. Mary Kay will always find ways to milk its directors and consultants to keep buying inventory.