Lusting After Women
Written by PinkPeace
One day I was listening to a Bible teacher expounding on a passage in the Sermon on the Mount, namely Matthew 5:27-28: “You have heard it was said, you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful desire for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
This teacher was asking why it was sinful to simply lust after a woman, even when there was no overt sexual act committed with her. He then made the point that by imagining a sexual act with a woman, a man he was using her for his own gratification. It was a selfish act which didn’t take into account the feelings or will of the woman. It was simply all about what the man could get out of her.
I thought, “Men – they can be such disgusting creatures, can’t they? I’m so glad I would never do that!”
Then I thought again.
All of a sudden, it hit me like a blow to the stomach. When I was in Mary Kay, I had completely lusted after women in my heart. Not for sex, mind you, but for their bank accounts, their circle of friends and family, and their desire to be a part of my Mary Kay team. I remembered how I would size up a woman when I first met her. I had a mental checklist I would go through:
Is she well-groomed? Good. She’ll be more inclined to use skin care.
Are her nails professionally done? Great. If she has money to spend on acrylic nails, she’ll have money to spend on makeup.
Does she have kids? Let’s see if her hot button is having a home-based business so she can be with her children.
Does she drive a nice car/live in a nice home/have a good job? Excellent. I’ll bet she has good credit and would be able to afford a big inventory order.
I would pursue a conversation, and eventually a relationship, based on what I could get out of her for the benefit of my business. Did she love makeup? Could I convince her to be a hostess? Was she a potential recruiting prospect? If yes, then I was super-friendly, complimentary and asking her all kinds of questions about herself. Truthfully, did I care about her as a person? No. It was all about using her for what I wanted: more sales and a bigger team.
Mary Kay directors know the relentless pressure of “getting 10 new names a day” in order to grow your unit. Each encounter with someone new becomes an “opportunity to enrich a woman’s life.” After all, Mary Kay Ash herself taught us to always offer Mary Kay products or career to anyone within arm’s reach. But that still doesn’t excuse my guilt in lusting after women for the sake of this business.
A man who lusts after a woman deprives himself of getting to know that woman in the truest sense. He lives a superficial life and cuts himself off from real relationships. And in just the same way, I lusted after women’s money when I could have built good friendships instead. Those opportunities will never come back, and I regret that more than almost anything else in Mary Kay.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
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Wow, PinkPeace. Thank you for this, and for your humility. There is so much cherry-picking of Bible quotes shared in MLM used to justify unhealthy behavior. What you shared goes straight to the heart!
BTW, this notion of lust is a new testament extension of the ten commandments’ comandment against coveting: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife; thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s [goods…]” Duet 5:21.
You just brilliantly shared the two sides of this coveting coin, of which one side can be a greater challenge for men, and the other can be a greater challenge for women. Both are coveting…and we all would do well to work to resist these temptations.
Thank you for your honesty!
This is spot on, PinkPeace. We tried so hard to justify our actions, especially by cherry-picking Bible verses. When the scales fell off my eyes, it was a painful revelation indeed.
Indeed Wow, PinkPeace!
For being so honest and humble, for owning up to one’s own “sins” and for sharing it so the rest of us can benefit from your reflections at your expense. It must be very difficult. I am not a Christian but we share the same values. I thank you deeply for unpacking that verse. It triggers me to do my own reflections.
Regarding cherry-picking of verses, I have seen the NSDs doing the same thing here. It’s really disgusting that they deliberately use religion as a mask and they are the most forefront in their “religious appearance”. They are using verses to attract recruits and to “motivate” their burned-out directors and BCs in the materialistic context that is the exact opposite of the intent of those very verses.